The Chemo Plan

I talked to my oncologist and he is recommending a chemo plan of the following drugs:
5FU (Which I took last time)
Leucavorin (Which I took last time)
CPT11
Either Erbitux or Avastin (This depends on a test they need to run on the tumor they removed)

The program is 4 hours on Friday in the clinic and then I go home with a pump for 48 hours (Sat and Sun). Then I am off for a week then I repeat this for 24 weeks (12 sessions of chemo and 12 off weeks)
I will be done mid March if I go the whole 24 weeks...but more on that later.

Besides the normal side effects of constipation, diarrhea, nausea, general weakness and feeling like crap, the Erbitux also has a weird side effect. If we go with that you usually get an acne like rash on your face, neck, scalp and chest that can be painful. You can use ointments, etc on it but you can't shave. It is supposed to be painful but it is supposed to go away sometime after you stop using the drug.

The way I am approaching the chemo this time is slightly different than last time. When I went through the program the first time, I tried to do everything they told me to do exactly right and I told myself that I had to do the whole 6 months because I was afraid that I would be "tempting fate" by not doing everything and I was afraid I would feel like I blew it if the cancer came back. So even though I got sick as a dog towards the end and even though I started having weird side effects, I stuck through the whole 6 months.
Well guess what? I did everything they told me to do, no questions asked and the cancer still came back AND by the way I also have a permanent side effect that is seriously affects my quality of life (neuropathy)

So this time, I will take the drugs they say to take but I will be watching for side effects. They say this acne is not supposed to be permanent but they also said that about the neuropathy and its now permanent. If I feel that one or more of the drugs is seriously impacting me in a negative way, I will discontinue that drug. If I get 4 months into the program and I just don't think I can take any more I am going to stop. This time I am in charge of my treatment, not the doctors. This may sound arrogant but it really isn't so please don't think that!
What I have learned is that every cancer is different and everyone reacts differently to the treatment so you HAVE to be in control of your program because the doctor does not really know for sure what is going to happen to you and they cannot predict the results. They have no way of knowing what happens between month 5 and month 6. All they know is that the FDA approved 6 month treatments based on some trial somewhere. So I need to listen to my body and I need to decide when its best for me to stop
I am in charge this time!!