Gearing up for Week #2--Physically and Mentally

Hi
Week #2 of chemotherapy is this Friday. I am feeling pretty much ready for this but I will be meeting with the doctor prior to treatment to go over our plan. Right now we plan on dropping the Erbitux and seeing how things go. After that we will play it by ear. I have to make sure that he knows all the side effects I went through this week in case he wants to adjust the dose on the drugs also. The dosage seems to be based on height and weight and wild ass guess by the doctor. So I want to make sure he has the chance to adjust the dosage if necessary.

Mentally I have been pretty down after the first session, those of you that know me understand that I am not used to being "down" so I have had a real rough time dealing with this. At times I have felt like just quitting the chemo and taking my chances. They really cannot tell you how much better your odds are with or without the chemo. I don't have any tumors so the chemo is strictly to knock out any timebombs that might be growing in there. Since we dont know if there are any timebombs this whole chemo thing is an exercise in risk. But when I think about the pros and cons it is very hard to justify taking any risk unless it's absolutely impossible to continue. Right now it is still someting I know I need to do and so I have been spending this week gearing up mentally for Round 2. I think I am ready to do it and by Friday I will be there mentally. The mental part is much more difficult than the physical part but Carol has pointed out many times that I am very mental...so I have THAT going for me.

Physically the situation is much better really. The nausea is just about down to nothing. I get some major heartburn now and then but so does everyone I guess. The worst part right now is the rash that is on my face. I have it in my ears, on my nose, on my lips, in my eyebrows, everywhere. It burns pretty bad but lotion helps. There is nothing else they can do about that. Since we have eliminated the Erbitux I expect that to gradually go away. I am tired of Carol calling me "Johnny Popcorn Face"!!

I probably wont post until this weekend when I will know more about how bad session #2 is going to be. Keep your fingers crossed and the positive thoughts and prayers going. I am calling all my angels!!
Peace and love
Johnny Popcorn Face (and Carol)